I was thinking this morning of the center of sin. CS Lewis thought of this as Pride as the opposing end of humility. This is one of the more orthodox ideas of the center of sin. Recent Systematic Theologians think of it differently (Cottrell, Grenz). I like the idea of Pride or moreso, Vanity. I do prefer the term Vanity instead of Pride, Pride can be a positive thing where Vanity is the dark side of Pride. However, it seems to me this does not describe the center as thoroughly as necessary.
If you ask someone what is stronger Pride or Fear I wonder what they would say. Does one’s Fear come from Pride, or does Pride come from Fear. This of it this way, one individual fears being abandoned and in turn chooses to respond to this by abandoning everyone in their life before they themselves are abandoned, or maybe even latching onto relationships and smothering people. This either way is a response of Fear. Pride then, how does it function in turn? Pride is what tells people that everything that happens to them is their own fault, it must be. Take the child who’s father or mother leave them. Forever believing that they (the child) are the reason, a child thinks first of themselves, that is how children are. So when anything happens in their world it must be their fault because they are at the center of the world, and nothing can happen in it without their specific action. Thus, when divorce happens it is often recommended tell the child over and over again almost to the point you are beating her or him over the head with it because that is how long it will take for them to understand.
Someone tells me they are moving out and finding their own apartment instead of rooming with me, is that my fault or not. Well it depends. This person tells me they need more space for their things or don’t find the privacy adequate. Sure that is fine, but does that have to do with me. My pride tells me yes, obviously they are moving because I did something, if only I were a better roommate it wouldn’t have happened and I wouldn’t be a lone. However in fact it has nothing to do with me, they need more space because they have a lot of stuff and are introverted so require a lot of time alone. In the end it has less to do with me than either (btw this is all hypothetical for anyone who knows me personally).
The last two stories interact with both fear and pride. The trigger in these situations is often fear instead of pride however the pride with what magnifies the situation. Think of two mirrors facing each other. When you walk between them you magnify infinitely. Think of one mirror as fear the other as pride, constantly feeding off each other magnifying each other.
The child feels abandoned which triggers fear, and then being self centered thinks obviously that it is his fault which is pride. Children are however different than adult, they are allotted a certain about of pride and fear, inasmuch as they grow out of it. Adults, however, should realize we are not the center of the world nor do we have control over everything.
If the roommate who stays around is bitter forever with the old friend, or begins to try and manipulate the other into staying they are acting in both a negative fear and pride(which I like to call Vanity).
