I wrote a letter thursday to my uncle, I never sent it, Friday he went into a coma and today (Satuday as of 10:00 he is dead) here is that letter...
Dear Uncle,

It has been a long time since I have really sat down to write you, I was thinking about that today before I went to chapel and realized I had to remedy that situation. I can figure why it has been so long since I have written you and in the next few paragraphs I would like to expound on that and also apologize.

Hearing of your illness struck me to the heart. I have been thinking today of our relationship, you were the first one to discuss with me the hypothesis in the order of the writing of the gospels. I know that sounds trite but it helps me understand our relationship better. I have always looked up to you as a preacher and even as a scholar. You have a deep and personal knowledge of scripture that can be seen in the way you live your life, but even more so in the way you deal with your illness.

From what I have seen you savor life as a gift from God and with strength you take what comes to you. I have always looked up to you for that trait. I realized while talking to grandmother today for the first time how important you are to me, and how much support you have always given me. When I went to graduate school you applauded me and when I went into ministry you gave me monetary support. For the first time today I have accepted that you aren’t well. In words I have always prayed for you, but this morning my soul cried out to God for you. Today was the first time I asked someone else to pray for you, and while I was doing it I realized why it had taken me so long. I didn’t want to accept that someday you won’t be here. I love you Uncle, you and grandma have been the biggest influences in my life in ministry, but you alone I have identified with the most. As I told your situation in chapel today I began to cry. All the sudden my past few months rushed back into my head. I apologize for my neglect to thank you more often, and also for my neglect to pray for you. I was scared, because once I started praying for you I knew that I had to really believe what is happening.

Thank you for all the support you have given me. I love you Uncle.

God Bless you

Justin M McCreary